it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
