so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
