The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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