Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize