I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
