omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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