Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
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