Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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