so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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