I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
