I think my vagina is haunted
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize