My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
