she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
