somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
