And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
