I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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