dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Randomize
