very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
