We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
