I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
