She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
PANTIES FOUND
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