Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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