why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize