dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
