it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
