Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
