perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Come see our sink grown plant.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
