The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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