I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
