So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
