ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
