3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
