Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
