Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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