I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
