Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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