Moan for me like Helen Keller
4 words: hood of his car
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize