His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
