I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
