you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize