Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
