I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
