Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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