they need to just BURY HIM!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
