You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize