Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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