week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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