Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
