The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
