Sry I called you an 8
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize