Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
