it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
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