Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
