So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize