why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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