You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
