doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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